I write, therefore I wait

giphyWriters write, is what I always say. And as a practitioner of the art, I not only completed one novel recently, but just last week I finished revising another one that had been cooling in my hard drive for a couple of years now.  I did this just after closing out what is commonly known in English academia as The Living Hell That Is the Final Essay End-of-Semester Clusterfuck. (Don’t get me wrong–I love my students. But there’s just something mind-scrambling about spending every living, breathing, waking moment with a red pen in my hand.) After that I thought I’d I’ll give my brain a few weeks to chill, maybe get ambitious for that mile-high to-be-read stack of books  on my end table, or scrape off that pile of unidentifiable goo bridging the gap between the leg of my desk and the wall. Or I can continue on with that new series I’ve been tossing around for awhile now. And I would, if I wasn’t fretting out those two literary babies I just sent out into the world while I molder here in Submission Limbo.

If you’ve submitted, whether query, proposal or full ms. to an editor or agent, then you know what I’m talking about. Because the result is you get to wait and wonder how it’ll ultimately turn out, while going half off your nut obsessing about it. From a query: will they ask for a proposal? From a proposal: will they ask for a full? And after they do, oh Christ, that’s when the real quivering commences, as your hopes get so high you start cruising the Tesla site and actually saying things like, “Hell yeah the Makers Mark’s on me!” And it doesn’t matter if you’ve sold before, and it doesn’t matter if you have an agent. Selling before only makes you feel worse, as an agent may get your foot in the door quicker, but it also makes it slam even faster. So what’s a writer to do?

Two things, actually: cultivate a nice, cushy mental block, and keep writing. Send something out, and then turn around and get to work on the next project. My agent and I have an agreement: she only contacts me if she has news. By news I mean, if it’s good. This approach doesn’t work for everyone, as I know several writers who prefer to track every submission. But the way I figure, if I wanted to do that, why would I need an agent? For me it’s better to focus on the big picture (read: the Tesla). Yet…

Look, there’s really no easy way around it. Waiting blows. But I’d never get any writing done if all I did was focus on what I’ve written and not on what I’ll write. So I’ll linger in Submission Limbo and bide my time  a little longer, as running with the big dogs will beat sitting on the porch any day.

 

Support Child Literacy Via National Readathon Day

nationalreadathonThe National Readathon 2016 is coming up on May 21st. Book lovers across the country will be cracking open the books and reading in solidarity from noon to 4 pm to promote literacy.

As part of the event, Penguin Random House and the ALA are running a fundraiser that will raise money to promote literacy to children. Funds raised during #Readathon2016 will benefit the Every Child Ready to Read initiative, a national library program for early literacy development. Supporters can use the Facebook Donate button on the ALA Facebook page in order to contribute.
To find out how you can host a reading party or to find a reading party near you, follow this link.
Reposted from GalleyCat By Dianna Dilworth on May. 17, 2016

Literally funny

I had a friend who published a literary humor magazine and always thinking myself funny, I submitted an article. With (seemingly) much hesitation and a very nice letter, I was rejected as for lack of a better descriptor, for not being droll enough. Truth be told, I can be as high-brow  jocose as the next fellow if I so desire because seriously, I am a subscriber to The New Yorker after all. Not sure what that story has to do with what follows, but hey, I’m a writer and if I didn’t have a sense of humor I would’ve jumped off a cliff a long time ago. So if you’re a writer too and can find the funny in any of this then maybe there’s still hope for all of us.

Cartoon-2-by-Debbie-Ridpath-bb2acb74faafa632be59c8b9b840580d565fe1598c6298d2a82c3679a003d42fcartoon-weird-writers-blockapostrophe_pinningAnd for those combo

writers/English slogs/

professor-types like me,

a bonus!

Random brushes with greatness

With QuestloveYou know you’ve really made it when people will post pictures of you posing with them on their website, but until then I’ll have to subsist on the other side of the ‘net. This photo is from Friday’s jaunt to Random House, when yours truly got to meet and greet with the likes of Questlove of the Roots. (Note to self: do not wear flouncy blouses when getting pix taken of you. Remember that old piece of advice about the lens adding ten pounds? Living proof.)Pierce Brown Here’s another on of Pierce Brown meeting my hair. He was so nice the next time I go to one of his signings I’m going to bring my face. Justin Cronin Justin Cronin was also very nice, and I found out he’s also a graduate of the Iowa Writer’s Workshop, which to a fellow MFAer like me, that’s right up there with Harvard and Yale.  Also totally appreciated the fact I was blowing off class to see him.  Could you possibly find a better skip day?Anna Quindlen and Lee Woodruff The next one is a really badly-focused picture of Anna Quindlen (left) and Lee Woodruff, but that was really because of my shitty camera-phone, and nothing at all to do with how fab they are in person.

And they were, along with the many other authors we saw that day. So much fun, books, food, chocolate, wine, and hey! I won a Magic Bullet in a raffle. What could be better?

Open House at Random House – Going!

Going to this on Friday. I’m so excited I can’t stand myself. You see there’s publishers then there’s publishers. And then there’s (cue chorus of sopranos) Random House!

Open House is a unique semi-annual event that brings together the biggest names in publishing (Anna Quindlen, Debbie Macomber, and more!) for a full day of interactive author panels and book signings at Random House’s New York offices. Readers get a behind-the-books look at what’s new at this all-inclusive day, which includes breakfast, snacks, lunch, a cocktail reception, and a canvas tote bag full of books and goodies!

 

  • Questlove

    Questlove

    Author, Something To Food About

  • Melanie Benjamin

    Melanie Benjamin

    Author, THE SWANS OF FIFTH AVENUE

  • Pierce Brown

    Pierce Brown

    Author, MORNING STAR

  • Justin Cronin

    Justin Cronin

    Author, THE CITY OF MIRRORS

  • Debbie Macomber

    Debbie Macomber

    Author, A GIRL’S GUIDE TO MOVING ON

  • Anna Quindlen

    Anna Quindlen

    Author, MILLER’S VALLEY

  • Helen Simonson

    Helen Simonson

    Author, THE SUMMER BEFORE THE WAR

  • Dawn Tripp

    Dawn Tripp

    Author, GEORGIA

  • Lee Woodruff

    Lee Woodruff

    Author, PERFECTLY IMPERFECT

Have questions about Open House at Random House – April 29? Contact Random House

Kicking it off the cliff

the-endOne of the most depressing days in a writer’s life is when they finish their work-in-progress. You’d think it’d be a James Caan break-out-the-bubbly moment like in Stephen King’s Misery, but truly, it’s more like Kathleen Turner in Romancing the Stone, crying like a baby as she types The End. The latter’s an apt analogy, because there ‘s definitely some postpartum issues going on, and although you feel a sense of release, it’s also pretty scary. Mainly because although the creative part is finished the business end kicks in, and suddenly the kind of terror you’re facing makes that Scary First Page look like all kitty and bunny cuteness. You start going all agoraphobia, freaked at the idea of sending Baby out into the cruel, cruel world, completely certain everyone  will discover you for the hack — or even worse — the fraud, the imposter you are. “Take THAT bitch!” you imagine as another rejection skids into your inbox, “who ever told you you can write?” (actually, a “mentor” once did say that to me, an Iowa Workshop graduate who I now can only remember as Dick.) You start doubting yourself, convinced everything you ever wrote is shit and trash-worthy, and you end up with your ass still in pajamas at 4:00 PM eating Tater Tots and binge-watching old episodes of Family Ties. Pathetic.

Of course, this is the most extreme scenario, and not completely reflective of my reality. I’m fortunate enough to have an agent who believes in my work, and a couple good leads on this new thing. But that doesn’t mean everything I described above hasn’t gone through my head, and it’s certainly nothing I haven’t faced before. (Okay, no Family Ties, but I did recently binge five episodes of Outlander and nearly the whole season of Girls.) The thing is no matter what stage you are in your writing career, you’re not immune to self-doubt and imposter syndrome and the fact that you’re only as good as your latest success. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t let go. I did, and as proof–oh what the hell, here’s the first chapter of my latest book to prove it. Go ahead and read it and let me know what you think. Just don’t make me call you Dick.

Almost there

Blindfolded Typing Competition in Paris, ca. 1940Normally I’d be posting some kind of inspiring message to all those fledglings and fans today, but I’m thisclose to finishing up my latest epic, so I’m going to have to bail. Plus I have a bajillion assignments to grade, and then TCM is hosting a night of German Expressionism with one of the scariest movies out there Nosferatu, which never failed to scare the crap out of me. Oy, who needs this many things to do! I’d better get back to work.

All systems stop

Brick wallRight now I’m in the process of editing my latest book, and for the most part, it’s rolling along superbly. I have a terrific premise, stellar characters, lots of quirkiness and some great dialogue. I always keep in mind the big picture–the one thing I want to accomplish and how it all will eventually end up. For one reason or the other I can always visualize the last scene, where the characters will be and the affecting bon mots that’ll roll off their tongue which will hopefully, linger in my readers’ minds. And then three-quarters of the way in, I turned around and just like that! I ran face-first into a brick wall.

Stopped. Not stalled–I’m talking dead motor. I couldn’t move an inch and worse than that, I didn’t know why. I thought at first I was stymied by the research, as there’s some technical devices I’m using that needed to be clarified. But that wasn’t it either, and it wasn’t the pacing, because it was going along at such a rapid clip I made a conscious effort to slow it down. Then it hit me (metaphorically): I couldn’t go on because I didn’t know one of  my characters well enough. And when you don’t, how could you possibly know what they’ll do next?

According to Nancy Lamb in The Art and Craft of Storytelling, “how your characters act and react–how they think and feel; how they handle obstacles and respond to people, places and things is story.” Agreed. I have some great characters. They’re colorful and full of nuance, they have interesting backstories and deliver some killers lines. Yet…and this took me a bit of thinking to figure out–they’re still one-dimensional. I’m working with them, but I don’t really know them. I’m hitting that wall of what-to-do-next because this far into the book I can no longer write them observationally, or how the opposing characters see them. I have to write them motivationally or how their unique combination of nurture, nature, inclination and quirkiness force them to do the things they do.  So I stopped and thought about the plot situation my character was in, and that’s where I found my moment of clarity. I couldn’t predict what he’d do next because I’d yet to give him justification. Oh sure, I knew his present because I had observed it through the eyes of the other characters. But I wasn’t well-enough acquainted with his personal history to give him a motivation to react the way that would advance the story. So to help that along, I devised a little checklist to run him through.

Personality  – Is he aggressive or passive? Confident or shy? Is he willing to take chances, or does he like to play it safe? Cheerful or moody?

Defining Traits – Is he a geek or a loner? A leader or a follower? Fun or a bit of a wet blanket? Is he cold? Is he liked or feared, and how much does that matter to him?

Family – Is he close to them or estranged? Married or does he want to be? Any children? Youngest, middle or oldest? Pets?

Interests – What is he passionate about? Any hobbies? Political? A patron of the arts? What does he really dislike? And how does this conflict with the other main character?

Clothes – Does he dress nattily? Or like a slob? And what does he observe in others?

Body Language – How is his handshake? Does he always make eye contact? Does he walk confidently or does he cower?  Does he listen?

This is just a short list as you can go on and on, but by the end you will end up knowing your character a bit better. And when you do you can finally sit back and relax. They’ll take it from there.

 

Get Your Geek on NJ!

20160330_geekfest_logo_300Local geeks unite again this Saturday at the South Jersey Geek Fest in Woodbury Heights.

The convention celebrates comics, video and tabletop gaming, cosplay and other nerdy fun with more than 75 vendors, plus YouTube celebrities like Living in 8 Bits and Comic Trips.

CosPlay fans will delight in the Mystic Realm live role-playing experience, while those seeking more competitive thrills can participate in the Super Smash Bros. tournaments or join in on some board game action.  There will also be a Cosplay Kickball Home Run Derby open to all costumed attendees.

For the littlest nerds there will be two “Geekster egg” hunts, one for kids under 5 years and one for children ages 6 to 10.

A wristband pass cost $8 (children under age 10 are free when accompanied by a paying attendee).  CosPlayers and folks who bring non-perishable food items for people or pets get in for just $5.

Reposted Jana Shea at Newsworks http://www.newsworks.org

What I did last Saturday

Gretchen Gwen Chris Clemetson LSFW
Geniuses, all: Gretchen Weerheim, moi, Chris Clemetson.

Just because I have a few books out there with a Big Five publisher that doesn’t make me a somebody. (Okay, maybe it at least qualifies me for Amateur Plus status.) But once in a while I do get out in the World for a chance to mingle with the famous and near-famous, and that can only up my cred. Last weekend I was at the seventh annual Liberty States Fiction Writers Conference in Iselin, here in my home state of New Jersey. It’s a fun event,  with workshops and panels and editor/agent appointments, speakers like Hank Phillippi Ryan.  I even got to attend a wicked Mad Libs session given by Kate McMurray,  Tere Michaels  and Damon Suede. And who knows, maybe I even learned something.

Gretchen, Hank Phillippi Ryan, Yours Truly
Gretchen, Hank Phillippi Ryan, Yours Truly
Kate McMurray, Tere Michaels, Damon Suede at Mad Libs LSFW
Kate McMurray, Tere Michaels, Damon Suede at Mad Libs LSFW

Seriously Snark