Staying physically distant is about as patriotic as you can get

Happy Fourth of July everyone! Feel free to go outside and barbecue in the virus-dispelling air. Swill copious beers to clear your mind from all the bullshit that’s been clogging it these last few months. You also have my permission to have a second hot dog. What the hell–we have worse issues than our salt and nitrate intake. Like COVIDIOTS that think mask wearing is a deep state conspiracy. So you think this virus is a hoax? That it’ll just “go away?” Oh…rrrright, like that crusty oozing bleeding cold sore that comes back whenever you’re stressing. Hey, remember the chicken pox you had when your were six? Wait until it does a scabby revisit all over your body as shingles. They were viruses too!

But who wants to think about them now. It’s a holiday! Party like it’s 2019!

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